


That Fuckin' Do Anything For You, Megadeth?

by pikaflute



Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Snowball Fight, but like nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28312587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikaflute/pseuds/pikaflute
Summary: After a very brutal snowball fight, Nathan helps Pickles make cookies for Christmas day.
Relationships: Nathan Explosion/Pickles the Drummer
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	That Fuckin' Do Anything For You, Megadeth?

**Author's Note:**

> i want more nickles so i guess i have to write it [cries]. anyway hello, i tried to get this done earlier but i had finals and that made me see the lord in a very non sexy way. title is cookies! by nsp :) this is the third time ive used this song for a fic. merry christmas by the way :)  
> also the song pickles is singing is wondering tonight by nsp. gimmicks never leave.

Nathan hates snow. He hates the cold, he hates the stupid wind, and he hates the ice that makes him slip and fall on his huge ass. Fuck winter. Nathan decides when his band gets their shit together with this prophecy shit, he’s finding some way to get rid of winter. If Toki wanted snowball fight so bad, Nathan would just get some scientist downstairs to make snow without the whole wind chill and ice bullshit.

Currently, Nathan is behind a mound of snow that Murderface poorly constructed. The snow is also making his jacket and pants wet which makes him even colder. He grunts and rubs against his arms in an attempt to generate some sort of heat. Even under three layers of clothes, Nathan still feels the biting chill. Brutal.

“This sucks a bag of dicks.”

“It’s nots that bads.”

Skwisgaar is currently beside him behind the snow mound. Unlike Nathan, he has only a jacket, scarf, and gloves on.

“You say that because you grew up in a fucking wasteland of ice and snow.”

“Maybes. I still thinks you are being a babies.”

“Fuck off. It’s like zero degrees. How are you not cold?”

“It’s only thirties,” Skwisgaar starts in a flat tone and then shrugs, “You Americans don’t know the real cold. This? It’s nothing.”

“I’ll wipe that look off your face you Swedish fu-“

Before Nathan could finish, something lands between the two. It’s Murderface. His collision with the snow mound gets snow everywhere, causing the mound to collapse. Skwisgaar brushes snow off of him with a sneer and Nathan growls as his jacket gets wetter. Murderface makes a whining noise as he rolls over to be face up. Nathan shoots him a glare.

“What was that about.”

“Why the hell is Toki so aggressive? What have we been feeding that kid?”

“Did that warrant divebombing the snow like a fucking crazy person?”

Murderface furrows his brow and gets red in the face, “Yes! That little asshole got me right in the…you know.”

“He nailed you in the ass with a snowball?”

“NO! God! Nathan that’s gross!”

“Wells. With the way you don’t wants to tells us…”

“GOD! You people are fucking gross!”

Murderface’s loud whining is cut off by a snowball hitting Skwisgaar in the shoulder and he lets out a shrill cry. Nathan winces. Skwisgaar stands up and yells in the other direction.

“Toki, I know you fucking threws that!”

Nathan hears a familiar giggle that sounds like the rhythm guitarist who wanted this whole snowball fight to begin with. Skwisgaar leans down and packs some snow into a makeshift ball, and then throws it with all of his might at the other team. It lands about a foot in front of Skwisgaar and makes a plopping noise as it enters the snow.

“Nice throw.”

“I don’t see _you_ doings any bett-“

Another snowball comes flying. It nails Skwisgaar right in the cheek, and he falls face first onto the snow with a loud thump. Nathan sighs, and he whips his head over at the snow barrier Toki is behind.

“Toki! Don’t aim for the head!”

Toki shouts back a ‘sorry!’, but then snowball whizzes by his head, missing just barely. Nathan growls.

“Toki!”

“That wasn’t mes!”

“It was me.”

Nathan jumps as he hears a voice above him. He looks up to see his manager. He looks clean despite the five of them rolling around in snow for the past hour and a half.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on your side of the fucking snow field?”

“Hm. Maybe,” Charles smiles as he speaks, and Nathan notices that he’s holding another snowball, “Though that wouldn’t be so fun.”

“Fuck you.”

“So much for good sportsmanship. By the way,”

Charles throws the snowball against Nathan’s jacket.

“We won.”

Toki lets out a ‘yay!’ and Murderface groans.

“Why the hell are you two teamed up? That isn’t fucking fair!”

“Technically William you are at an advantage. You have a former football player on your team, and also three people.”

“He isn’t any help!”

Nathan grabs a fistful of snow and throws it at Murderface. The snow breaks apart and it scatters all over Murderface’s face and he makes a noise. He rubs at his face aggressively with his mittens.

“Pfft-asshole! You got it in my mouth!”

“Good. I hope you fucking choke on it.”

“Now boys. Save this aggression for another round.”

“Hey Charles? Fuck you.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Charles goes over to help Skwisgaar off the ground. Nathan looks at the snow and then at Charles. He gets an idea. He leans over and grabs a giant fistful of snow and starts to pack it as best he can with his frozen fingers. Murderface shoots him a look and Nathan gestures to be quiet. After a couple of seconds, Nathan has a snowball. It’s a little misshapen, but it’ll get the job done. As soon as Charles helps Skwisgaar off the ground, Nathan stands up and with all his might throws the snowball at Charles’ back.

It hits. Charles stumbles a little bit but regains his balance quickly. Nathan cheers and points at Charles, taunting him.

“Take that your four eyed asshole!”

Nathan’s short but sweet victory is short lived as a snowball careens through the air and slams right into his face. Ah. Toki must’ve been ready. Nathan feels himself crumple from the force of the snowball and he falls right on his ass. Fucking brutal. The impact of him hitting the ground is loud enough to get Murderface and Skwisgaar to go over to him.

“Holy shit!”

“Nathans! Are you okays?”

Nathan doesn’t say anything for a second. He then sighs and lets out a mumbled and agitated reply:

“I fucking hate winter.”

* * *

Nathan sighs in relief as he entered the warm halls of his home. Toki felt bad about nailing him in the face, so he practically made him go inside to warm up. He’s so glad Toki is at least a little considerate to actually care about the well-being of his band member. Nathan makes a mental note to get back at the other three who made fun of him for heading inside early. As he opens one of the doors to main halls, he hears bells. He looks down to see some tied to the door handle. As he enters the hallway, he sees more and more decorations like it.

It was two days before Christmas and the whole house looked like it came out of a shitty fucking Hallmark movie. The band had decided for years that there would be no “Christmas shit” hanging around the house. If any decorations were to be put up, they had to be soaked in blood and be black. However, this time was different. Toki, like every time December rolled around, had tried to make the band to hang up some decorations to get in the spirit, and while the band was prepared to say no like every other year: Nathan had allowed him to go ahead and hang some decorations up. Pickles had said that he overparented Toki too much, but letting Toki do what he wanted was the least he could do for what happened last year. And the smile Toki had on his face after Nathan said they could get a tree, melted his dark and brutal heart.

Not that he would ever admit that or anything. 

Nathan makes his way down the holly littered hall and into the kitchen. Hopefully, their chef made lunch for them after they came inside, or maybe he could find Pickles and make him make lunch for him. Not for the rest of the guys though. They could go fuck off. As he approached the kitchen, Nathan smelt something amazing. Cookies. Nathan made his way down the hall quickly, hoping to get a couple before his band caught wind and stole all of them for themselves. As he reaches the kitchen, he sees a familiar face.

Pickles is in the kitchen. He has a black apron, that’s adorned with flour stains and red text that says, “Kill the Cook”. His hair is tied up in a makeshift ponytail, and he’s sticking his tongue out with his nose scrunched up as he concentrates on mixing the ingredients in a bowl. Pickles is also humming along to some song in his head while he works.

He looks cute. Nathan smiles. From the angle that Nathan is at, Pickles can’t see him. He gets an idea. As quiet as he can, Nathan sneaks up behind Pickles, and despite bumping his hip on the counter, Pickles is too engrossed in his work to notice. Once Nathan is behind his boyfriend, he goes to cover his eyes.

“ _Whose hog are you snarfing on ton-_ AH!”

Pickles drops the bowl on the counter, spatula thankfully making it into said bowl. Pickles puts his hands on his hips and Nathan laughs above him.

“Who is it?”

Nathan leans down and rests his head on Pickles’ head. His chin smushes Pickles’ ponytail.

“Guess.”

“Hm. Is it…that asshole who runs my band?”

Nathan frowns and let’s his hands fall onto Pickles’ shoulders.

“That’s mean.”

“Well was I right?”

“Yeah. I guess.”

Pickles goes to pick up his bowl again and starts mixing. Nathan looks down.

“You making cookies?”

“Yeah. Toki wanted some for the season, so I decided to take the day to make them.”

“And you say I over parent him.”

Pickles elbows him. Nathan moves away and goes into one of the snack cabinets to find something to eat.

“You do! And speaking of, aren’t you supposed to be playing with the goofball right around now?”

Nathan grabs a bag of chips and leans against the counter right next to Pickles. He opens the bag and pops one into his mouth.

“Nailed me in the face with a snowball. Totally brutal.”

Pickles lets out a snort.

“What?”

“Sorry. Shouldn’t have laughed. No wait, I should. That’s funny as hell.”

“Oh, so it’s funny when I get hit with a snowball,” Nathan pauses to eat another chip, “but when _you_ stub your toe, we have to call the fucking paramedics.”

“Our house is made outta saws, blades, and corners! Of course, I’m gonna be in hellish pain!”

Nathan lets out a huff and glares at the ground. He eats his chips in silence.

“Are you actually mad at me?”

Nathan doesn’t say anything. Pickles sighs.

“Would you like a kiss to make your cheek feel better?”

“Maybe.”

“God fine. Come ‘ere you big baby.”

Nathan smiles as moves closer to Pickles. Pickles leans in and gives a quick chaste kiss to Nathan’s red and sore cheek. Once they pull apart, Nathan gives a thumbs up.

“Feeling better already.”

Pickles rolls his eyes and continues to mix the stuff in the bowl.

“Did you not wear layers when you went outside? You’re like freezing.”

“I get cold easily,” Nathan dumps the rest of the chips into his mouth, he’s pissed he picked a bag of mostly air, “It’s also cold as shit.”

“Nah that’s just you. You don’t have my thick Wisconsin blood.”

“Shut it yankee.”

“Never. Hey, get me that tray over there, I’m ready to make these bad boys.”

Pickles points at a tray with parchment paper on top of it. Nathan grabs it and puts it next to Pickles. Pickles starts to put the cookie dough on the tray in little balls as Nathan watches.

“Hey, wait, I smelled gingerbread earlier. That’s chocolate chip, right?

“I already made some batches earlier, they’re cooling in the backroom,” Pickles scraps some cookie dough off the sides of the bowl with his spatula as he works to make more cookies, “if I left them out here, they’d be gone in a second.”

As Pickles speaks, Nathan’s hand reaches over and into the bowl.

“Hey! Hands!”

Pickles slaps Nathan’s hand from the mixing bowl with the spatula.

“What? You always let me have some.”

“Not when it’s still in the mixing bowl you fuckin’ heathen! Go get me the oven mitts, gotta put these shits in.”

Nathan leans over and grabs the black oven mitts with red gears on them. Pickles puts on the mitts and puts the cookies in the oven. He then sets a timer for the cookies, and then hands Nathan the cookie dough covered spatula. Nathan’s stomach growls for real food, but he ignores it as he licks the cookie dough off the spatula clean.

“Taste good babe?”

“So good. So worth the food poisoning.”

Pickles laughs and takes the spatula from Nathan. He throws it in the sink along with the used and bowl and then hops onto the counter next to Nathan. Nathan smiles.

“Hey.”

Pickles smiles back, “Hi. If I give you the first cookie will you give me a hint for what you got me for Christmas?”

“I already gave you a hint.”

“Nathan saying “it’s a thing” is not a hint.”

“Don’t you want to be surprised?”

“Well duh. But I also want to know now!”

“Hm. Okay. I guess I can give you another hint.”

“Really? Tell me.”

Nathan leans in and grabs Pickles face. He then kisses him on the lips. It’s a quick kiss, but he still feels Pickles flush at the close contact between the two. After Nathan pulls away, Pickles lets out a breath.

“That’s uh. Wow, that’s my hint huh?”

“Yep.”

“Kinda want another one if we’re being honest.”

Pickles is now attempting to crawl in Nathan’s lap with a smirk on his face. Nathan looks down at Pickles and then over at the stove. He has an idea.

“How much more time we got on those cookies?”

“About eight minutes. You got something in mind?”

“Got another hint for you.”

“Oh? Let’s hear it.”

“How much space do we have in that backroom?”

* * *

“You mades cookies for Tokis?”

After twenty minutes, and a very stressful mad dash after the first eight to save the cookies before they burned, the rest of Dethklok was back inside. Judging by Skwisgaar and Murderface’s defeated expressions, it seems that Charles and Toki won the snowball fight.

“Of course, I did! You wanted them, so I made them.”

Nathan mumbles something that sounds like “overparenting”. Pickles kicks him. Toki wraps his arms around Pickles and lifts him out of his seat. Pickles yelps.

“Thank you Pickle!”

“Sure thing! Um, but can you put me down now?”

“Oh! Yeahs! Sorries!”

Once Toki puts Pickles down, Skwisgaar speaks up.

“You knows for cookies that haves to be made for the stupids diabetics-“

“Heys!”

“These came out very good Pickle.”

Murderface spoke next, but his mouth was filled of a mixture of gingerbread and chocolate chip. Pickles gives him a look, and then Murderface tries again after remembering how to eat like a human.

“I said that they’re good. You should do this for us more often!”

“Uh uh. No way. You would all mooch off food for me at like the butt crack of dawn.”

“Didn’ts you make soups for Nathans last weeks? That’s bullshits!”

“I’m his boyfriend shit for brains,” Nathan takes another cookie and then points it at Skwisgaar, “besides I’m pretty sure he just microwaved some can of chicken noodle.”

“Guilty as charged!”

“You also exploded the first can of soup if I recall.”

The whole band jumps. Charles is standing behind Nathan, spritz cookie in hand. Nathan looks up and glares at him.

“Can you _stop_ fucking doing that?”

“No. It’s fun.”

“We gotta get like a bell for you or something.”

“I don’t think that’s necess-”

Pickles cuts Charles off, “Hey, I didn’t explode shit! Some asshole fucked with the can, so it went off when I tried to microwave it!”

“I believe it.”

“Do you?”

“No.”

“You know I can take that cookie right back-“

Charles puts the cookie in his mouth and starts to eat it. Pickles rolls his eyes.

“Fucker.”

“Guilty as charged.”

After the brief moment of tension, the band sprung right into conversation. They started to talk about Christmas, what they were going to do, and how they insisted Christmas was totally not brutal but were super curious about what presents were they getting on Friday. At one-point Murderface was dared (by Pickles), to shove as many cookies as he could into his mouth. While Charles looked on in terror, Nathan looked over at Pickles. He was so lucky to have such a talented and pretty boyfriend like Pickles. After a couple of seconds, Pickles catches Nathan looking at him and he smiles.

“What are you looking at?”

“You.”

Pickles blushes, but his attention goes to back to Murderface, who is choking. Nathan would be all for this usually, but he’s too focused on his boyfriend.

And if Pickles likes his gift, Nathan can start calling him something else.

**Author's Note:**

> he fucked that old man!!!! anyway, follow me at pikaflute (twitter and tumblr) where i talk about nickles way too much.


End file.
